Hello, after reading these points you will realize that you already know them all and often you will think “but it’s a trivial thing”. Well, but I challenge you to find at least 5 couples around you (including yours) to tell me if they do all these “trivial” things … it’s the little things that make the difference 🙂
1) Show your appreciation every day: I strongly believe that the quality of your attention is the greatest gift you can give to another human being, regardless of whether it is your partner. Indeed, more reason if it is your partner.
In this regard, several scholars have highlighted the importance of showing appreciation and gratitude to your partner … of doing it in words but above all through your gestures, understood as appreciating through non-verbal behavior.
2) Surprise: surprises are one of the things most appreciated by our species. Making small surprises such as sticking a post-it with some affectionate phrase, hiding notes in your bag or jacket … basically micro gestures that surprise your partner.
3) Cut out time together: it will not surprise you to know that couples, after the first few times, have a tendency to devote less and less time to the couple. When the couple is born, what you want is to be with your partner, but after a while, this need disappears.
The more the couple is “dated”, the more it is necessary to make a “little effort” to carve out time together.
4) Plan your ideal holidays: standing in front of the computer or in front of a flyer from a travel agency to plan your holidays together seems to be an activity that binds very much.
There is a neural circuit called the nucleus of accumbens that makes you feel pleasure when you are about to get something, but as soon as you have reached it begins to decrease.
5) Avoid organizing everything: even if your partner does not shine for the organization try to involve him in your plans … even if they do not directly concern him. If, on the other hand, it is something you do in two, then allow them to have their say, even if it is your field.
6) Do new things: Everyone knows that routine “kills relationships”, but few know that “doing new things together” develops oxytocin, the substance that decreases stress and makes us excited when we are involved in new projects. Making new things, even extremely small ones helps bond your bond.
7) Taking lessons together: taking a cooking course, tango, music, etc … together seems to have a great effect on the couple’s affinity.
8) Choose something new and unusual together: once again “the novelty”, but this time to plan together. Like choosing a costume for a party or taking some time to gaze at the stars.
9) Take 30 minutes a day to talk: it is a classic exercise that is used a lot in couples therapies, easy and efficient. As we said before, as the couple becomes more mature they tend to spend less time with their partner.
10) Do the “trades”: Howes said that doing housework together creates a deep relationship. I already know that my girlfriend will be with her antennae pointed as she reads this part …
Ok toad I’ll get better 😉 now you also know why I put that image
11) Remember what triggered love: This exercise, which many couples do, serves not only to consolidate the couple but also to realize where you are at this moment. It is obvious that if you fell in love with your partner because he did certain things that he no longer does … something turns on … and then you can discuss it.
12) Forgive: serving grudges kills love, and even if it seems utterly banal, you must know that few are willing to forgive. Indeed it often happens that the past mistakes of the partner are used as a weapon for future quarrels. So, learn to give your real forgiveness: if you decide to invest in your relationship and return to feel good as a couple, you need to forgive everything … absolutely everything.
13) A weekend of rest: take a day or a weekend to spend together, without necessarily having to do anything new or sensational … spending a “day of laziness” together.
14) Do more things together: watch some romantic movie, series together on Netflix, kissanime or play some video games anything you both like. do more things, even small ones … or rather, especially small ones together. From research on our mirror neurons and the famous NLP relationship and beyond, it is clear that doing a certain activity together increases your connection.
15) Be intimate: do you remember the “sex diary” exactly try to always carve out some time to be intimate, to touch yourself. The simple touch can work miracles, as I have told you several times, time risks making us spend less and less time together and also risks losing much of that intimacy that was there in the beginning.