The Most Common Problems in Relationships Faced by Married People (And How to Solve Them)

Relationships are integral being the social apes that we are. We thrive in communities just like our other primate cousins, and if you were to ask any expert, socializing is just as vital as nutrition and proper sleep. This is because we’re hardwired to be in social situations and build families that, in turn, grow to become communities. Each one of us works in tandem and usually towards a common goal.

While it’s a nice idea to think of all humans busying about like bees or a colony of ants, the truth is often pale. Unlike simpler relationships found in nature and other animals, human relationships are complicated. Our lives aren’t simplistic enough to effectively balance work with personal duties, and not every individual we meet has our best interests in mind. Relationship toxicity is a very real problem and one that isn’t just limited to couples in romantic relationships either. Parent-child relationships can be soured for a myriad of reasons. Employers can be the biggest maniacs you could ever have the misfortune of meeting, and random strangers could do you harm in many ways.

Keeping a tight handle on a vital relationships like marriage is important for two reasons:

1. Marriages usually (but not always) entail the decision to produce offspring. An unhealthy marriage can be disastrous for any child introduced as a result of them.
2. People in unsatisfactory marriages are destructive towards themselves and others. So larger and communal harm is likely.

Our focus for today is finding the most common marriage problems cited on the internet today and providing the best ways you can overcome them.

Financial Issues

Financial issues or having money problems after marriage is one of the biggest relationship destroyers out there. It is also one of the most commonly cited post-marriage issues online.

Tough economic times, especially those on a global scale, can mean most couples would struggle to make ends meet. This hardship is compounded if there are children in the picture that the couple has to provide for. Going through financial problems can cause individuals to self-isolate their thoughts and retain information on their feelings from their partners. They’re also less likely to be patient and the added stress of being in a monetary slump can cause them to make impulsive decisions. Fights become the norms while neither of the two fully understand the reason for the conflict.

How to Solve It?

Macroeconomics aside, there’s not much you can do besides being patient. The one thing we cited is tremendously difficult to do. But before that, couples should be honest about their finances and how much they are making. This can help them to allocate finances better or come up with alternatives to earn more money. Both partners could work while monetary situations improve for the primary earner. The important thing here is to communicate and not lose your cool.

Busy Schedules

It’s fanciful to think of marriage to remain the same as when you were dating, but change is inevitable. That is something most people have to face headfirst. Dating was simpler because your partner was with you for a limited time during the week, so they had your undivided attention and presence when you provided it. Living together after marriage doesn’t prepare people for the fact that although they’ll be seeing their partners a lot more often, quality time between the two decreases. Especially if either or both parties have careers. This can be incredibly stressful as you start to feel neglected and unloved.

How to Solve It?

Work as a team! You made time for them before you pulled the ring out of your pocket, so there is no reason to stop now. Being busy is normal, and that’s something your partner needs to understand as well. But your primary focus is, to be honest about your schedules and make time for your partner. Spend the weekend home with them or the nights watching something together. Go for walks or commute together to work. Fit them into your life once again. Being lazy about making an effort is going to worsen your marriage.

Poor Communication

You’ll notice how most resolutions to problems mentioned here are communication-based. There’s also a good reason why every article or person you go for marriage advice would advise you on keeping communication lines open at all times with your partner and be willing to listen. While for most this requires a slight change in mentality and a little practice, others can find this very difficult to maintain. Not all of us were raised in healthy households and, it is fairly common to be married to someone whose first mode of action is silencing themselves at the first sign of trouble or problem. This can be incredibly irritating at first but something most people can look past. Eventually, after weeks and months of build-up can cause your camel’s back to give way.

How to Solve It?

A big part of emotional maturity is understanding that people come from all sorts of different backgrounds and histories. This can cause them to have unique aspects to their personalities— some lovable, some borderline annoying. But another element to emotional maturity is realizing that your partner may need certain reassurances from you, especially after marriage. Your failings in communication cause a steady but sure decline in the quality of your relationship. Talk about why you find it difficult to open up and how your partner can help you in encouraging you to be more open and trusting. But then, take it from there. There’s no “I” in “teamwork,” and neither is there a “U.” Don’t expect your partner to be the first to initiate communication.

Bad Habits

Bad habits often only seem to materialize once people are fully comfortable and trusting around us. Something as petty as not leaving the toilet seat up, or not washing their hands after using the bathroom can be ignored if you don’t experience it as often enough. But living in the same house? Your best bet this is going to be a constant and daily occurrence. Does your partner chew with their mouth open? Do they communicate with the opposite gender a little too casually? Or maybe you found a bunch of random accounts of bikini-clad Instagram models on their phones? These bad habits can drive anyone up the wall and deteriorate otherwise perfectly happy and stable marriages.

How to Solve It?

At this point, it’s a no-brainer to suggest this. Communicate! These habits won’t break the pattern if you’re silent about them every time. Let them know calmly why it is important for you to have the toilet seat down, or for you to have them eat with their mouth closed. Falling in the toilet and a disgusting sight are very good reasons, yes. But let them know! As for casual flirting and questionable social media use, you may want to invest in an app to spy on a cheating spouse like Xnspy.

Regardless of what your problems may be in marriage, communication should always be the first line of defense. Opening up about your concerns and issues is vital for both parties in any relationship. And in a marriage, healthy communication habits can be the difference between a sustainable union and having numbers to multiple divorce lawyers handy.